Happy Valentine's Day, what if it doesn't work?

Valentine's Day or the day of love

Today, February 14, Valentine's Day or Valentine's Day is celebrated. A day in which it is not strange to find signs of affection in the form of letters, flowers, and/or gifts. And even, far from the material, see people wearing red clothing or symbols; color associated with love, although also -paradoxically- with anger and revenge which, on the other hand, sometimes tend to follow it when it ends.

Regarding the origin of this festival, not exempt from criticism due to its current connection to consumerism, there are various versions, perhaps the most popular being the one that tells us about a Priest of ancient Rome (Valentín), who risked his life by secretly marrying young lovers, disobeying the orders of the Emperor (Claudius II), who prohibited marriage between young people (the seedbed of his troops) in order to get them to enlist in the army and were better soldiers.

Be that as it may, the truth is that around the world and mainly Western countries, we have been joining this tradition, including in our calendars a special day to celebrate love. And not only from the commerce or the hospitality industry, which, without a doubt, jump on the bandwagon taking advantage of the opportunity, because, Is there anything better than being in love? Probably not, if we understand love as that idyllic state in which we radiate happiness, gratitude, understanding, affection, trust and generosity towards another person with whom we want to share life.

San Valentin

What to do when love as a couple ends

What to do when love as a couple ends

But what if it doesn't work? is the question we ask in this post and not in vain.

Although we socially tend to idealize love as a couple, the reality is that the rate of annulments, separations and divorces is increasing.

On July 15, 2022, the National Statistics Institute (hereinafter, INE) issued a press release containing the Statistics of Annulments, Separations and Divorces (ENSD) corresponding to the year 2021 and which opened with the following headlines:

  • In 2021 there were 86,851 divorces, 12.5% more than the previous year.
  • Joint custody was granted in 43.1% of divorce and separation cases for couples with children.

Within the data collected by the interesting analysis carried out in INE, we could highlight that the majority of divorces (78.8%) and separations (87.9%) were by mutual agreement, with the average duration of this type of procedures being much lower (3.2 months) than that of type procedures contentious process in which there was no consensus (11.9 months).

And when it comes to considering the “end” of a relationship and, ultimately, of a joint project, it would be necessary to assess the way that has the least negative impact on the parties, also thinking about the possible collateral damage that third parties could suffer. people linked to them, especially children, if any.

That makes us definitely bet on the mediation, especially if, even if love ends, the relationship cannot end. Regarding the latter, you may wonder, how can that be?

We usually equate the end of love with the end of relationships, however, we speak of an end in quotes when, as a result of that love, there are minor children involved. In the latter case, reaching a consensus is strictly necessary for the good of all family members.

Because love also teaches us that, despite disappointments, setbacks and disappointments, there are understandings that are necessary and it is worth putting aside resentment and holding on to what still unites us, in order to overcome disagreements without generating more pain.

San Valentin

Thus things, the family mediation, as a dialogue method of conflict management, offers us great tools and opportunities, giving each party the leading place that they must continue to maintain with respect to their lives and helping them to decide about their own lives. future through equitable, fair, stable and lasting agreements. All of this, away from the coldness of a court, but equally assisted to guarantee their interests, that of both, working especially on those common interests, as will undoubtedly be the well-being of your children.

We cannot control when love ends, but we can control how the relationship ends (or continues) and, in that sense, professional mediators provide the parties with help to do so in a responsible, conscious and consensual manner, contributing thus at a lower sentimental, economic and temporal cost. Ultimately, we are looking for a WIN WIN that satisfies the parties and makes it more bearable to heal the wound that Cupid's arrow left them. Because, the relationship as a couple will be ended, but the relationship as parents will continue in the best possible way.

Let's continue loving, learning and growing based on that love. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Go much deeper into family mediation and discover one of the most in-demand specializations in the labor market with the help of the leading school in the sector.

Leave a comment