Dynamics of self-control and emotion management. Different techniques.
Sometimes, when we feel overwhelmed by our emotions, they dominate us and make us act in a different way than we would if we were calm, sometimes losing control of them. Who doesn't know someone who knows how to control themselves and behave correctly, even when emotion is at its highest point? There it is, that person has magnificent emotional self-control.
What is self-control?
We could simply describe self-control as the ability we have to not lose control in situations of discomfort, misunderstanding or tension.
And emotional self-control?
He emotional self-control is the ability to manage emotions that we feel so that they do not take over us and, consequently, our behavior. It consists of managing our feelings and behaviors to control both positive and negative emotions and thus be able to express them appropriately..
It is generally thought that emotions are innate impulses and therefore uncontrollable. However, one of the areas of emotional intelligence is precisely emotional self-control, meaning that you can work and therefore control the appropriate expression of emotions.
As you know, adolescence is a constant stage of change. Insecurities, new experiences, emotion management and self-control represent a constant challenge for the adolescent and their family.
Thus, adolescent self-control is a behavior that can be learned. Self-control has been shown to be a greater predictor of academic success than a student's IQ. Research shows that students who practice self-control do better in school overall and are happier.
But what benefits does emotional self-control have?
The person who has high self-control You are able to dominate your thoughts and your way of acting, which can be beneficial in a multitude of situations..
- Allows you to face difficult situations.
- Helps you stay calm and have greater clarity of thought.
- Benefits the relationship with others.
- Allows us to control stress when we are under pressure
- Helps you make better decisions.
- Increases self-esteem.
- Improves emotional well-being.
You should know that self-control can be improved.
To do this, it is essential:
- Know the emotions. We cannot control something we do not know, therefore, the first step to having emotional self-control is to know emotions and how they manifest in us. The basic emotions They are called that precisely because they are universal. In general, they are easy to recognize and common in different cultures. But it is possible that each person experiences them in a unique way, perceiving signals or sensations particular to each individual.
- Be aware and define what you want to control. It is essential that you are aware of what you want to control and that you know what you want to change.
- Be emotionally intelligent. Self-control or self-regulation of emotions is one of the skills that emotionally intelligent people master. Learn and acquire skills emotional intelligence like self-knowledge or empathy It makes you a person with greater self-control.
The most used techniques for emotional self-control are the following:
1. Relaxation techniques
Emotions activate our body. That is why relaxation is a widely used technique in emotional self-control. The progressive muscle relaxation It can be very effective if there is prior training that allows it to be done in a few seconds.
2. Self-instructions
The self-instructions are positive affirmations that we use to guide us when we face a difficult situation. The technique requires making your own list of affirmations before facing the problematic situation. They should always be written positively, be feasible and not too long.
3. Empathy
On this occasion we will use empathy to see the situation from the perspective of the person to whom we associate the emotion. The technique consists, as its name indicates, of put yourself in the other person's shoes.
4. Stopping thought
This technique consists of stopping the thoughts that are causing the emotion just when we notice that it begins to appear. We can use the word “stop”, “for”, “enough”, or another similar word.
Learn in detail related contents in the Postgraduate in Intervention with Minors.
