the art of negotiation

When mediators intervene, we must never forget that our job consists of “actively assisting” a negotiation between parties, where the parties faced by a conflict mainly seek (although this is the consequence of going through the mediation process) an agreement. that satisfies each one's interests or needs. Hence, we think that the art of negotiation involves creating a space where different interests share prominence and we achieve an agreement. effective negotiation.

The key to the art of negotiation is the word and therefore the conversation, where verbal language arises and also the reaction of the receiver when the messages are issued. Along with this, we will take into account the emotional component that exists in every negotiation and that can greatly affect the final result of the “deal” or agreement.

Our training must be aimed at controlling these emotions in communication and we will turn words into “effective negotiations”, because due to the tension and our work “translating” messages, through the so-called reformulation, creating that neutral space, it can make us Let's get into a labyrinth with no exit.

Learning the art of negotiation is crucial for success of an agreement in mediation, where we look for what the parties vulgarly call “a deal” and let us not forget that it is supported by the 4 columns that support it: that it be fair, equitable, stable and lasting. Let's start with ourselves, the negotiation experts, who can reveal our “tricks” to make a negotiation effective. I would dare to establish these ten recommendations:

1. Try to know the weaknesses and strengths of each part in order to establish a “navigation chart in assisted negotiation.” Each one can be found in different situations.
2. Ensure that the parties can reveal to you those things that are inalienable and which are not. If they keep this in mind, a negotiation can always take place in which it is seen that the parties make their positions more flexible and therefore there is progress.
3. Try to ensure that the parties can recognize each other even if they do not share their points of view. This will place you in a new scenario where, regardless of what has been done, a turning point is expected where both of you share the future that is to come in your relationships.
4. Establish a realistic work schedule. Creating this roadmap or schedule allows the ordered points to be addressed and no progress is made until the “promised” issues are resolved. To do this you need patience and knowing that many times time will be your ally. They may need to consult someone to help them make the decision. Hasty decisions are bad advisors.
5. You have to be willing to change. In negotiations, as progress is made, conditions or circumstances often arise that were not seen at the tip of the iceberg and that now emerge, when you have achieved good rapport, which is why we always mention the word “in our training as mediators.” flexibility". Experts say that “The first draft must be negotiated and changed.”
6. Assign future tasks. The parties in a negotiation must work as much or more than you, in the sense that, being the true protagonists, they must express what they want in a clear and forceful way. It is always said that what is said is not the same as what is written...can you put it in an e-mail for me? They will always simplify their claims to hit the target of the agreement.
7. If we talk about companies… Negotiations open avenues to new business opportunities and expansion and growth plans. Negotiating is an exercise that is perfected day by day, practice... having clear objectives, collecting the only necessary information and planning the interventions and questions we will ask.
8. Listen, empathize, verbalize...You must master all the techniques and skills that you can learn so that, depending on the negotiation that occurs, you can bring them to the table, that is the “ace in the hole” that many people believe you have and don't know “how you do it.” And don't forget the sense of humor, which will be needed more than once.
9. Have a great attitude. Mediation, communication, negotiation… everything requires attitude because “two cannot reach an agreement if one does not want to”, never forget that.
10. Question and Question. Don't get tired of asking... "by asking you get to Rome", always in a planned way, knowing what objective to achieve with it, in an open or conciliatory tone, or in an exploratory and energizing tone, but prepare them well. And when not...use silence.

I can only finish this short essay by saying that life is pure negotiation. We look for a deal wherever we go and in the face of this, nothing is more important than the Emotional intelligence.

“When you enter into a negotiation, assume that both parties are going to look for ways to be logical” and therefore see beyond what concerns us And if not, in the negotiation it helps all parties reach that place where the “deal” is forged and “give your word”… let's get the honor of the word back into our lives.