The influence of emotions in family mediation

A quick and simplified definition of what is family mediation It could be “making decisions with interfering emotions.”

Emotions are very involved when it comes to family conflicts.

When it comes to family conflicts, such as agreeing on the custody regime for a child, agreeing on how vacations are going to be distributed so that the minor is in the best possible conditions, or calculating the percentage of expenses that each one will assume. of the parts, emotions are very involved and it can be difficult to make decisions.

Mediation: couple conflicts, family conflicts, inheritances...

As can be seen, Family mediation not only covers cases of couple breakups, but also deals with such everyday cases as that of siblings who seek to reach an agreement to care for their dependent parents, or grandparents who demand to spend more time with their grandchildren after their parents' divorce, or conflicts caused due to inheritance or family business issues, etc.

Family mediation, compared to court trials, offers a primary advantage: the parties feel heard, can express their emotions and can peacefully express their interests, all in an atmosphere of empathy and dialogue. This makes it much easier to reach a mutual agreement in which both benefit in some way, since the principle of voluntariness of mediation is based on the fact that the contenders have a certain predisposition to understanding. The family mediation service of the province of Guipúzcoa handled 422 cases last year, of which almost 80% ended in agreement.

But family mediation is not a bed of roses, agreements do not occur magically, there are times when it is only one of the parties that takes the step or even the parties can present different approaches and uncomfortable situations are created. However, Court procedures consume much more time and are more emotionally draining., apart from being less economical. And most importantly: the solution is not given by a third person or a judge, but rather comes from the opposing people themselves.

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When should family mediators act?

A misconception about mediation is that the mediator tells the parties what to do., while its role and function, in accordance with the principle of impartiality, consists of make them reflect so that they make consensual decisions. Family mediators only have to intervene in very exceptional and specific cases, such as guaranteeing the interests of a minor.

Even if a family mediation process does not successfully reach an agreement, the prior process of reflection by the parties continues to be of great importance to improve the relationship for the future, or at least not worsen it.

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