Metaphor emerges as a resource at our fingertips, almost from our daily lives, and shines when it comes to becoming important in the act of teaching and learning through it..
By using indirect speech acts, approximate statements and metaphors the speaker can increase contextual effects in a way that does not diminish the relevance of his linguistic use, but rather increases it (Sperber and Wilson, 1986). These are, therefore, language tools that we use, on a daily basis, to refer to realities that overwhelm us in complexity or multidimensionality.
The fact of using metaphors in mediation, therefore, can be very useful to the extent that they propose a different dialogue to the parties, evoking past placid situations or projecting desired imaginary situations. Thus, metaphor allows us as mediators to delve into situations that go beyond the purely rational or the exclusively emotional. It offers an intermediate space that does not lose sight of decision-making at any time and at the same time places emotions in a more easily manageable place, which allows connection with both parties and between them.
It is a representation of reality that allows everyone to feel more comfortable, understanding their meaning without the disadvantage of becoming defensive. As mediators, this even makes it possible for us to create alternative stories based on information collected from the parties' testimony.
The metaphor lends itself to being used by members of the disputing parties to express moods or bonding situations. It seems that the metaphor springs from our common demand to stop the perpetual flow of reality and appropriate it; It would be the attempt to recover what is lost in everyday experience through something that remembers it (Andolfi et al., 1982).
Examples of metaphors that we can use in mediation with the parties in conflict:
- A high mountain to climb
Imagine that this situation is like a high mountain that must be climbed and we do not find the necessary means to do so. I, as a guide, know a place that has a series of elements that can help you with this climb: harness, safety ropes, appropriate footwear (“cat feet”). It is, therefore, that you accompany me to be able to climb the mountain with solvency. Of course, I can't climb the mountain in your place, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING TO THE TOP!
- Emotions are like the seasons of the year
Due to climate change we are realizing that what used to be very clearly defined: autumn, winter, spring and summer days, today there are days where we go through climatological characteristics of two or three seasons. This does not make us refuse to live the day, even if it is windy, cold, hot and raining, since we cannot modify it and we adapt to what happens.
The negative emotions that conflicts with other people produce in us are like heat: very unpleasant. But surely you don't tell yourself that being hot is horrible, unbearable. It's annoying or even frustrating, but we know that we have to go through it from time to time, especially in the summer.
In the same way, negative emotions exist and sometimes we will have to experience them. Why aren't we so forgiving of our own emotional states? Emotions, like heat, a headache or a pimple on the nose, are nothing more than annoying physiological states, but they have no greater significance than that of providing us with information about how we are and giving us the opportunity to look for alternatives to what we are like. those behaviors that we perform when something makes us uncomfortable, for whatever reason.
- The metaphor of the reed (to work in mediation and especially with “dictatorial” fathers and mothers)
Legend has it that on one occasion a beautiful and strong oak boasted of its power and strength and thereby mocked the reed that was its neighbor, saying “I am big and have powerful branches.” How small and insignificant you are! The reed was not bothered by these words, but it was saddened by the oak's vanity.
One night, unexpectedly, a tremendous storm arrived, hitting everything in its path with strong winds. The oak offered all the resistance it could, trying to beat the storm with all the strength it knew it possessed. While the reed, wisely, moved with the direction of the wind, flexibly. The next day the oak was destroyed, uprooted and, on the contrary, the reed had emerged unharmed to the surprise of the oak that did not understand how, being so weak, its neighbor had survived the storm.
Like the reed, a flexible attitude towards life allows us to face the vicissitudes that come to us, so that they do not break us.. On the contrary, psychological rigidity, represented in this metaphor by the oak tree, brings suffering and discomfort and is the fundamental basis of most psychological problems.
Especially interesting is to make “dictatorial” fathers and mothers, whose demand and value they give to discipline is excessive, see that, like the reed in the education of their children, there must be moments of flexibility and “horizontality”, which lead to a better connection with them and promote fairer treatment of them, lowering demands and promoting greater attachment.
With this post you can reflect on the importance of mediating through metaphor within our work as mediators.
If you want to know other metaphors and how to use them in the mediation process, don't miss the Blog from our teacher Javier Alés Sioli.
Very interesting and a tool that can facilitate mediation.
I think it will also reduce the stress that may exist in that mediation.
Thanks for sharing. I am a student of the master's degree in mediation.