What does Affective Responsibility mean?
Emotional responsibility consists of being responsible for the consequences of our actions with respect to others, it implies understanding that, whenever two people are linked, they acquire the commitment to care for and respect the feelings of the other.
In general terms, emotional responsibility is not a quality that we have, it is rather a way of behaving with those around us. One is emotionally and affectively responsible by being aware that our Actions, attitudes, gestures and behaviors can hurt other people.
This does not mean that they should remain in relationships they do not want, but it does mean that they should be clear and assertive with the other person and not cause gratuitous damage.
What is the origin of the term Affective Responsibility?
The term Affective Responsibility began to be used and used since the 1980s by psychologists such as Deborah Anapol, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. The origin of this concept comes from polyamory and how to have open loving relationships with several people in an ethical and responsible way.
In recent years, the use of this concept has become widespread, being applied to monogamous relationships and even to relationships in a work or academic environment.
What is emotional responsibility like in adolescence?
During adolescence, relationships with the peer group become very important. It is a stage of intense emotions and changing.
It is at this time when people begin their first love relationships. When young people embark on a relationship, it seems unique and irreplaceable; but, with the same intensity with which it began, it can fade, and this closure is not always carried out in the best way.
Sometimes, due to a selfish attitude, typical of the stage of adolescence and in other cases due to a lack of skills and self-esteem, the truth is that many adolescents find it difficult to communicate adequately in these types of situations. And, consequently, his personal ties are few satisfactory and even harmful.
On the other hand, emotional responsibility also implies taking charge of one's own emotions, knowing how to identify what a person feels and being aware that emotions depend on oneself. It is common to observe in relationships between adolescents how they place their state of mind on others. They feel happy when the other person behaves as they expect and become disappointed, angry and sad when others do not meet their expectations.
This way of relating can lead to very harmful dependency situations. Feeling that they need another person to be happy and that someone else's happiness depends on them is not healthy. It is necessary that they learn to manage their emotions, so that the actions of others do not define them. And, in the same way, that they understand that it is not their responsibility to fill out the expectations No one else's.
The concept of emotional responsibility It is essential for minors to know how to relate to others in a healthy and balanced way. And it is the parents, the professionals who work with minors, who are responsible for instilling the values that will make it possible for this to be put into practice.
How is emotional responsibility developed?
People are in contact, bond and closeness with people around us, we are social beings. To develop Affective Responsibility and introduce it into our daily lives, it is important, first, to develop skills and competencies in Emotional Intelligence: Emotional regulation and awareness of our actions and words before others become the first step to achieving emotional responsibility.
There are different behaviors or actions that can conform to emotional responsibility and that, by applying them in our relationships, healthy bonds can be achieved. Some of them are:
- Clear and transparent communication.
- Put limits.
- Validate the feelings and emotions of the other.
- Assume your own emotions and behaviors.
- Be open to conflict and its resolution.
In the social and cultural moment in which we find ourselves, in which people communicate constantly, both in professional relationships, trips, outside and inside the country, etc., it is essential that the relationship between all these people be maintained. carried out within limits in which it must raise, at least, the intention of being able to communicate easily in order to reach an understanding and consensus on those decisions that we must make, both in work and social relationships. The best way to achieve a good coexistence, professional relationship, love relationship, etc., is to be clear about the limits that we must take into account, such as respect for others, to try not to hurt their feelings and to express ourselves as clearly as possible, so that understand our point of view. Likewise, we must try not to get carried away by our emotions and seek emotional control, with which we can achieve that in the conversation we have with that other person, or with that group, whether professional, friendly, or romantic relationship, be satisfactory for everyone.
We could ask ourselves if this emotional responsibility, which facilitates good work, professional, romantic relationships, etc., is what has always been commonly known as good education. I would say that good education is very important, since it imposes rules of behavior on us in order to be able to relate to others; But, it should be added that, in addition, we must educate ourselves to seek transparency, to be clear when transmitting our opinions; in being generous, in the sense of being open to the opinions of others, even if we do not agree with them. And, above all, be open to debate, to finally reach agreements that the topic in question requires. In short, before maintaining all these social and any other relationships that are presented to us every day, we must prepare ourselves, educate ourselves to maintain all those limits that will allow us to maintain a respectful relationship with others, open to resolving all issues. conflicts that arise, accepting other opinions, etc., etc. In short, I would say that, on a daily basis, we are conciliating, mediating, at all times, in social and loving relationships, and, therefore, we must insist on taking into account, as a basic principle in all these relationships – emotional responsibility. -.