Adolescence is often viewed through an adult lens. We worry about their silences, their backtalk, their mood swings, their relationship with screens, their friendships, their way of dressing, their decisions, and that disconcerting mix of need for independence and need for support. Sometimes they seem to want us to leave them alone, but at the same time, they still need adults around. They don't always say it, but they need it. That's why it's helpful to read books about adolescence: not to find a magic formula, because there isn't one, but to change our perspective. To understand that many behaviors aren't simply provocations, but… Read more

Beyond Punishment and the Importance of Education: The Question Isn't Just What Consequence Do We Give? When a child or teenager does something wrong, the adult reaction is usually very quick. They've insulted, lied, broken something, hit, disobeyed, been disrespectful, hurt a classmate, or broken an important rule. At that moment, almost automatically, a question arises: "What punishment do we give them?" The question is understandable. Adults need to answer. We can't act as if nothing happened. Rules have to have value and… Read more