Conducted by Mr. Javier Alés Sioli, Director of the International Forum of Professional Mediators (FIMEP) and collaborating teacher in EIM – International School of Mediation
Every day, every moment, in any conversation we hear phrases like “I do not have time for anything" either "how quickly time passes”. Phrases whose only interpretation would lead us to think how important it would be to control time, our time. That is why I propose that you know the true value of time and, with this, be able to adjust to it, enjoy every moment and above all that it becomes our ally in our journey through the world.
Today, at almost 60 years old, I was able to understand its true value and be able to enjoy every minute, every second, that the present provides us, since without realizing it it becomes the past and the future passes us by. But I need to master it when working in mediation.
We can say that each one “invests” in their personal time bank. There are those who decide to wait a certain time to achieve objectives when a problem arises; There are those who go for their objectives and mark their personal horizon from that precise moment, looking for the possibility of solving the unforeseen; There are those who depend on others to spend their time and that is when they go to mediation. Each person decides to live their life according to each moment.
Together with the notion of time we unite our emotions, which makes us dare to “dive” each moment, which will turn them into extraordinary situations where time is marked by our emotional intelligence. This is where the true interest of making time our ally lies. Only our present can lead to a change in the future if we are aware of taking advantage of our past. Your present is also the present of others and with it we can achieve our dreams and objectives, always with our sights set on the horizon of our life.
Your power is in the control of what really, from our present, is important and will be your main resource to enhance your life. Time is something we all have, but not all of us know how to manage or manage it correctly when it comes to conflict.
I would also like to reflect on that concept that “time heals all”. It really is that? Can we let time pass when there is a conflict situation? In my years as a mediator, where on more than one occasion, patience and the passage of time became a tactic to get the parties to change their position, they have led me to know how to use it in its proper measure. It is not worth wasting more time on what hurts us, but are we doing it in the best way? Do we leave it in the hands of “destiny” to heal ourselves from all that pain? Time is often necessary to be able to heal wounds, but it is also true that we have to be aware of it, because we need to do a lot of our part in its passage for that axiom to be true.
We can say, without a doubt, that the pain of conflict takes its own time. What's more, the time required to wait is unpredictable when it comes to healing a heart wound.
That is why experts recommend that we live in the present and not anchor ourselves in our painful past, so we can change our future. That's why give time to your pain. Take control of the time for this and strive to keep the positive things that happened to you and the life project you have left. For this, some simple final recommendations:
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- - Be optimistic. You must put a slight smile on everything that is to come. Experts say that this simple exercise lengthens your life, lengthens your time.
- – Learn from the experiences you have had. Try not to fulfill the saying that “Man is the only animal that stumbles twice over the same stone.”. What you can do now with full awareness is what matters.
- – Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness. A mistake makes us strong because its learning is greater than that of success. And above all, forgive yourself.
Time is unique and the same for everyone, the only difference is what we do with it and that only depends on you. And if you are not able to know how to use it in a crisis, ask for help and give mediation time.
If you want to work as a mediator, there are many options offered by the International Mediation School, allowing you to access the main records, such as the Master in Mediation and Multidisciplinary Conflict Management or the programs Specialist in Civil, Commercial and Family Mediation and Civil, Commercial and Family Mediation Expert
With all of them we will help you in your professional objective as a mediator.
