The emotional life of adolescents is characterized byto affective polarization: States can change in a matter of minutes, ranging between: dependence-independence; Love Hate; demanding idealist-spiritual-materialist; exaggerated individualist-submissive member of his group; unstoppable energy- passive “pasota”; austere-exquisite (Kreuz, 2011, cited in Trujillo, 2019).
Dimensions like demand vs permissiveness and attachment vs detachment that fathers and mothers show in their interaction with their children at this stage, will be decisive to know if children inhibit and control their behaviors or, on the contrary, if they explicitly face family situations that create frustration and helplessness.
cycle of violence
All of this can generate a recurring cycle of coexistence that is harmful to the relationship between parents and children. As indicated by Micucci (1995) and Omer (2004) (cited in Trujillo, 2019), once it begins the cycle of violence children become more and more oriented towards power, while the parents do it towards the helplessness.
This makes parents focus on the negative aspects of the relationship with their children, decreasing attention and recognition towards the positive qualities that their children show in interaction with them.
Mediation as an opportunity to solve these cases
As prevention or intervention, in cases where there is no violent process, mediation is presented as a magnificent opportunity for both parents and children to feel more heard and to be able to put themselves in the other party's shoes.
To promote the relationship between parents and childrenMediation can be developed through different techniques therapeutics that bring about a rapprochement of postures.
Techniques for mediation
Techniques like the hedgehog metaphor, uncensored writing, cross phrases, bilateral relations…suppose fundamental tools so that mediation between parents and children comes to fruition.
In this psychoeducational process it is important to know if we are faced with Dictator, hyper-protective, delegating or permissive parents.
metaphor technique
To work on attachment with overprotective parents we can use techniques such as the “emancipation of the bears” metaphor:
Bears are usually born in litters of one or two and are generally raised by their mothers. They are the ones who teach them to avoid dangers, to fish and to follow trails in the forests.
One of the first things that mother bear teaches her offspring is to stay safe from possible danger. When she anticipates a dangerous situation she growls making a sign. Upon hearing the signal, the bear cubs climb to the top of the nearest tree they can find. Mom, with the cubs safe, is freed to face danger with greater safety.
When the threatening situation has passed, mother bear makes a new signal and her cubs respond to her call by coming down from the trees that had served as their shelter...
Do you want to know the ending and how to use it in the mediation process between parents and children?
This and other techniques, along with a detailed analysis of the factors that make child violence possible, can be found in our courses and master's degree in mediation.
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Bibliography:
Trujillo, JJ (2019). Minors at risk: violence against minors in different socio-educational contexts. Peace and Conflict Magazine, 12(1), 229-249.
