Minors seek comfort, security and protection in their significant figures and this allows them to build their personality.
When we talk about relationship with significant people we refer to a relationship that is intense, durable, since it lasts over time, it is singular, since it is specific to specific people, significant because it serves us and reciprocal because it seeks to maintain closeness. It is based on this relationship that we build the rest of the relationships, couple, social, school, etc.
What happens when this relationship does not go in both directions and physical and emotional closeness is not maintained?
In the case of minors who are victims of highly conflictive breakups, it is common to find children and adolescents. affected in the development of their attachment bonds, biological construction that we share with all higher species.
The balanced construction of the personality is therefore affected. This is destroyed not only by preventing the connection, but also by making it not occur or by making it not meaningful, by not facilitating the comfort, belonging and security necessary.
Taking into account that the adult personality is closely related to the established emotional and attachment bonds, the linkage loss:
– Attack the construction of balanced attachment.
– Favors the anxious attachments, in which minors never feel protected.
– They are built pathologies (addictions, self-harm, suicide...).
Consequences of loss of connection
TO short term minors show a biased reality, in which fear or lies are protagonists.
When the loss of connection is caused by experiences of domestic violence (physical or psychological), minors often show posttraumatic stress, panic attacks in relation to the parent who exercises or has exercised violence, not seeing their needs for security, belonging, comfort and affection met.
However, when this loss of bond is caused by parental interference (on the part of the mother or the father), the minors in these cases often do not know what is true and what is a lie regarding what they have been told. . They show affective dissonance and a borrowed language, which corresponds to a vigilant attitude, of anxious attachment on the part of the interfering parent since he constantly needs to reassure the relationship through control, adhesion, and anger, hiding and mimicking the fear of losing.
In both cases, long-term, it frequently appears in minors, anxiety, depression, eating disorders (ED) and personality disorders, which will be aggravated if there is emotional abuse. In addition to being able to generate new pathologies more specific as reflected in DSM V, V.61.29. “Child affected by a conflictive parental relationship”.
Parenting Coordination as a protection measure
This type of intervention allows us to have a complete and deep vision of the risk situations to which minors are exposed, going to the cause and not remaining in the superficiality of the conflict.
It is important to go to the following this loss of connection which leads minors to social and family isolation in order to guarantee their mental health and protection of their most essential rights.
To do this, it is good to review the relationship that parents establish with their sons and daughters, if it arises from their insecurities or distortions regarding their idea of what it is to love, what positive parenting is, or if they separate their needs from the of his sons and daughters.
A healthy attachment needs freedom and any type of violence attacks it and therefore does not allow a healthy bond and interferes with the construction of personality.
In any case, it is important to guarantee from the intervention of Parenting Coordination the protection of minors and for this it will be essential early detection, provide resources and tools both parents and minors, refer to mental health specialists if necessary and give to the judge the necessary recommendations so that the best interest of minors.
