A 14-year-old girl records a TikTok video of herself dancing to a viral song. She imitates her favorite influencer, who has millions of followers. It doesn't seem like a big deal. However, in just 24 hours, the video surpasses 10,000 views and the comments begin to multiply: some are flattering, others sexualize her, and a few are insulting. She smiles at the camera, but inside she feels something she can't quite put her finger on: shame, pressure, fear of losing relevance if she deletes the video.
That scene, repeated on thousands of screens every day, sums up part of the problem.
Social media has become the new stage where teenagers learn—or unlearn—about body, desire, consent, and affection. TikTok, Instagram or Snapchat are now the major spaces for socialization and identity building, long before school or family.
The new school of sexuality
Previous generations discovered sexuality in silence, through confidences or hidden readings. Today, teenagers learn about it online, guided by algorithms. What was once taboo is now discussed openly, but also with misinformation. Digital platforms mix messages of empowerment with hypersexualized content, sexist jokes, viral challenges, and advice from untrained "coaches."
A study of the Queen Sofia Centre on Adolescence and Youth (2024) It indicates that 751% of Spanish teenagers report having learned about sexuality primarily online. Only one in four mentions school or family as their main source of information. Meanwhile, access to online porn It occurs at increasingly younger ages — from age 11, according to Save the Children data — and this shapes expectations about relationships, the body and pleasure in a worrying way.
On TikTok, for example, videos about “ideal relationships” or “how to make someone fall in love” have over a billion views. Behind many of them are seemingly innocent but deeply distorting messages: love is associated with possession, beauty with physical perfection, and self-esteem with external validation.
The group's silence is as harmful as the bully's actions.
The fear of becoming the next victim, indifference, or the false belief that "kids will be kids" normalize bullying. But behind every bullied child or teenager, there is a chain of adults and peers who looked the other way.
Education and social intervention professionals know that Breaking the silence is the first educational actNaming bullying, talking about it, and pointing it out respectfully and without judgment is the starting point for transforming it. However, in many schools it is still difficult to recognize, especially when there is no physical violence or when the victim does not fit the expected profile.
When the algorithm educates
The algorithm of social networks does not educate: It entertains and hooks youIt offers no diversity, only repetition. If a teenager interacts with videos about beauty or fitness, they'll receive more of the same, and soon their view of their body will be reduced to impossible standards. If they search for content about love or relationships, they'll end up seeing messages about "toxic relationships disguised as passion."
The result is a generation that grows up hyper-informed but emotionally disoriented. Teenagers use a broad vocabulary—"consent," "gaslighting," "toxicity"—but often lack the real tools to apply it to their lives. They know how to identify what's wrong, but they don't always manage to act differently, because the digital environment rewards superficiality and punishes vulnerability.
Social media can undoubtedly be an educational opportunity, but only if adults use it with an educational purpose and a critical eye. Simply prohibiting or monitoring is not enough. we must accompanyTo accompany in order to interpret, contextualize and teach to distinguish between what entertains and what educates.
Educate through closeness, not fear.
Conversations about sexuality continue to generate discomfort in families and many schools. They are often postponed or addressed only in terms of risk: unwanted pregnancies, infections, or inappropriate behavior. But talking about sexuality is talking about affection, identity, the body, and respect. And that isn't taught with warnings, but with dialogue and trust.
Professionals who work with teenagers know this: young people They don't need moralizing speechesRather, we need adults who can listen without being shocked, who understand its codes and know how to read what lies behind a provocative post or photo. Sometimes, a video uploaded to TikTok isn't simply a search for likes, but a way to explore one's own image, to assert oneself, or to seek validation.
The challenge lies in building a comprehensive sex education that includes the digital world, that speaks of desire without guilt and boundaries without fear. It's not just about preventing risks, but about to foster healthy, free and responsible relationshipsalso in the virtual spaces where teenagers live a large part of their lives.
From the screen to real life
Sex education cannot be left out of the contemporary educational conversation. Schools, social services, and child intervention programs must acknowledge that emotional and relational learning now inevitably takes place through screens. Ignoring this fact is to let algorithms dictate education.
As professionals, we must dare to enter this territory with empathy and knowledge, offering real alternatives for expression, safe spaces to talk without judgment, and adult role models who demonstrate that sexuality can be experienced with freedom, respect, and self-care.
Because, deep down, It's not about disconnecting teenagers from social media, but about reconnecting them with themselves.: with their body, their emotions and their ability to decide who they want to be beyond a like or a filter.
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