We live in an era marked by speed. Constant notifications, multitasking, and the need for immediate responses have transformed the way we communicate.In this context, listening—authentic, deep, empathetic—has become a rare commodity. However, for those of us who practice mediation, active listening is not just a tool: it is the heart of the process.
This article proposes a reflection on the value of active listening in a world that prioritizes speed over understanding, and how mediators can (and should) reclaim it as a transformative practice.
What is active listening really?
Active listening goes far beyond simply hearing. It involves full attention, a genuine willingness to understand what the other person is expressing—not just through words, but also through silences, gestures, and emotions.
Carl Rogers, one of the fathers of humanistic psychology, already spoke of the importance of empathic, nonjudgmental listening as the foundation of any helping relationship. In mediation, this listening becomes a bridge: between opposing positions, between suppressed emotions, between unexpressed needs.
The paradox of immediacy
In today's digital culture, speed has become synonymous with efficiency. But in mediation, rushing can be counterproductive. Active listening requires time, patience, and presence. It's a countercultural practice that challenges the logic of immediacy.
What do we lose when we don't listen?
- We lose nuances.
- We miss opportunities for connection.
- We lose the possibility of understanding the conflict in its complexity.
Key techniques to cultivate active listening
- Paraphrase: Repeat in your own words what the other person has said, to confirm that you have understood correctly.
- Emotional reflection: Name the emotion you perceive (“It seems that this has caused you a lot of frustration…”).
- Conscious silence: Don't interrupt. Leave space for the other person to think, feel, and express themselves.
- Open body language: Eye contact, receptive posture, accompanying gestures.
- Avoid premature judgments or advice: Listening is not solving, it is understanding.
Common obstacles in mediation
Even the most experienced mediators can fall into common mediation mistakes:
- Listen to respond, not to understand.
- Anticipating solutions without exploring the root of the conflict.
- To be carried away by personal prejudices or sympathies.
- Emotional fatigue or excess of cases, which reduces the quality of care.
Recognizing these obstacles is the first step to overcoming them.
Active listening not only improves the quality of mediation. It also transforms the listener. It makes us more empathetic, more present, more human. In a screaming world, listening is a revolutionary act.
Conclusion
As mediators, we have the responsibility—and the privilege—of restoring listening to its rightful place. It's not just a technique, but an attitude toward life. Listening is accompanying, validating, and opening up space for the other to exist.
This week, we invite you to practice active listening in your immediate surroundings. Pause. Make eye contact. Listen without interrupting. You might discover something you didn't expect.
Our recommendation to learn more about active listening in mediation: The power of active listening, by Michael P. Nichols
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