The family goes through different moments that constitute as an institution. Roles are gradually defined as individuals are incorporated into the organization. In the case of the grandparents It must be said that they currently play a crucial role in the care and education of grandchildren, since on many occasions they "cover" those hours in which parents (due to various work and personal issues) cannot cope with the aforementioned tasks. There are many times when problems arise between parents and grandparents because they consider that the education of the latter is too severe or lax, this being one of the biggest conflicts that exist between both figures of guardianship of minors.
A report from the National Poll on Children's Health from CS Mott Children's Hospital indicates that the most common source of intergenerational conflict has to do with discipline
According to a recent report by National Poll on Children's Health at CS Mott Children's Hospital,the most common source of conflict between grandparents and parents regarding grandchildren has to do directly or indirectly with discipline. The survey, on which the report was based (passed to 2016 parents with children under 18 years of age) revealed that 57% of parents indicated that they had had some type of disagreement due to behavioral problems. He 40% Of the parents who reported having had disagreements said it was because The grandparents were too tolerant with the grandchildren, while the 14% revealed that the grandparents' heavy hand caused such disagreements.
Likewise, on many occasions where They cause family problems Due to the separation of parents and even the death of one of them, grandparents have difficulties in seeing their grandchildren with some regularity. This circumstance becomes more acute on certain special dates such as Christmas, birthdays or holidays. This is the time when grandparents wonder if there is any legal instrument to exercise their right to see their grandchildren.
In light of these problems made known, the The family mediator must act as a guide and catalyst through multidirectional dialogue that enhances the reflective analysis of the parties. so that they are aware of the causes of conflict situations.
Based on all of the above, the objectives pursued through family mediation are the following:
- Build relationships and promote communication, increasing psychological and personal satisfaction.
- Reduce tensions and promote peaceful behavior, encouraging cooperation.
- Limit the negative consequences for children after a divorce.
- Assume the new family situation.
- Work on feelings of guilt.
- Provide adequate information for all family members.
- Allow responsibilities to be assumed by the participants.
- Adjust agreements or options to real needs.
- Promote flexibility and collaboration in the face of changes.
- Allow family members to manage their own agreements.
- Promote responsible behavior, especially with respect to agreements made in relation to children.
- Return responsibility to the parties in conflict, both with respect to the agreements they may adopt regarding children, or the available legal agreements that may be agreed upon.
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Precepts to foster a good intergenerational relationship based on education and care
Regarding the Mediation between grandparents, parents and grandchildren, a series of precepts must be clear in order to foster a relationship based on education and care as joint tasks, where the roles are different. Keys to keep in mind, which foster a fruitful relationship:
- Be clear about each person's role: It is often said, in a popular saying, that parents raise and grandparents spoil. However, the role of grandparents is in no way to usurp the role of parents or to continually supplant them. Therefore, the demands on parents and grandparents must be based on shared responsibility, knowing that parents are the true architects of their children's education.
- Gratitude as a “bargaining currency”: Showing unconditional love to grandchildren is reason enough to be “eternally grateful” to them. Therefore, it is crucial to show gratitude not only because they deserve it, but as a lesson for the children.
- Encourage the creation of a strong grandparent-grandchild bond: Taking actions that foster a relationship of trust and complicity will help children see their grandparents as role models and allies.
- Maintain clear and assertive communication: Making known what is considered inappropriate for the education of children or what may be sending them a confusing message. Expressing what has bothered them, what and discussing how to resolve these small conflicts or misunderstandings helps more than an angry reproach.
- The needs of grandparents and their views: Grandparents have the right to take care of themselves, to have their own plans and to have their own life, no matter how grandparents they are. And, equally, they have the right to have their own style and vision of their relationship with their grandchildren. Respecting these rights will help create a more harmonious and healthy relationship between parents, children and grandparents.
After all, THEY WERE THE ONES WHO EDUCATED US AND TO A LARGE EXTENSION WE OWE THEM WHAT WE ARE ON A PERSONAL LEVEL
